How Kerry/Edwards can win in a landslide

Soros and Ted Turner pool some serious money to stage a massive Nascar event during the entire day of Tuesday, 11/2/04, perhaps calling it the Election Day Special> Sponsor: Budweiser, of course. The telecast of the event ends at 5:30 and is followed immediately by a second telecast entitled, "World Series of Female Mudwrestling," or something, that lasts until the polls are closed in all states except those in the Pacific Time Zone (which, I think, are Democratic "safe" states).

Seriously, in my months of marching and demonstrating, I've noted nothing remarkable about the demographics of fervent Bush/Cheney supporters, but I've noted how remarkably solid they are, almost absolute: Thirty-plus to forty-plus white males driving powerful, large vehicles.

So, we liberals merely spend the few millions required to immobilize these men on election day. And the grand immobilizer? TV, of course. And the fodder on the tube? Nascar and mudwrestling.

I'm open to refinement, of course. But I really think I'm on to something here.