Captured Saddam: street party

Well, I've had a busy day. My bedroom TV comes on automatically on CNN, so I knew before I got up that Saddam had been captured. But I haven't really had time to sit down and enjoy the show. Actually, I could've watched this evening, but I was watching Dinosaur Planet with my Dad. So there.

I've had time now to read some major news reports on the capture and its aftermath, and few things come to mind:

I wonder who gets the reward, and whether they have to pay anybody taxes on it. Do they get it in a lump, and move out of the Middle East for someplace nicer, or in payments, and just buy a nicer place in Iraq?

Are the Fab Five from Queer Eye available to give Saddam a makeover? 'Cause he really needs some help.

Now, I've never claimed that the average American is exactly a high wattage bulb, but just how stupid are the people in Kirkuk? Check this out:

"In northern Kirkuk, eight people were killed and 80 wounded by shots fired in the air during celebrations of the capture, said hospital official Shehab Ahmed."

I'm sorry, I know that's offensive. But give me a friggin break. Lemmings have better odds. That's like fish in a barrel shooting themselves. Maybe we could drop some leaflets out of Rumsfelds's plane, next time he swoops in. A nice, simple, catchy rhyme:

I shot a bullet in the air
And it came down I knew not where.
But something killed my neighbor Fred
By blowing off part of his head.

That's why I get the big bucks folks. I'm here at Erik's Drive-in Supper Club almost nightly. Hold your fire, and don't forget to tip your waitress.
Peace.

Yahoo! News - Captured Saddam Faces Strict Gravity