Friday, August 29, 2003

the great gag

The disinformation coming out of Washington is getting downright silly. The latest thing, which I gaped at over my morning fruit smoothie and almost spit up down the front of my shirt, is this:

(Notice that sentence … gaped at over spit up down … now that’s some fun writin’.)

The Bush Administration now suspects it was the victim of disinformation, brought out of Iraq by fake defectors. Get it? Hussein sent out fake defectors, to tell Bush exactly what Bush wanted to hear. Saddam sent them out to give the US et. al. the justification for the war.

Back in Old Baghdad, sometime before the war, it must have gone something like this:

Groucho: All right here’s the plan. You two sneak out and get to the CIA.

Chico: Right boss.

Groucho: Tell ‘em we got lotsa weapons, and we’re gonna use ‘em if they don’t come in here and kick our butts.

Chico: Right boss.

Harpo: [Honk?]

Chico: Wha? Tell ‘em we gots weapons? I thota we don’a gots no weapons.

Groucho: We don’t gots no weapons. That’s the gag.

Chico: But boss, if we tell ‘em we gots weapons, and we don’a gots no weapons, we’re gonna need’a some weapons.

Groucho: Right, tough guy. They’ll come stompin’ in here, kickin’ butts, but there’s no weapons. Then we’ll jump outa the steamer trunk an’ surprise ‘em. That’s the gag!

Chico: Oh yeah, that’s a pretty good gag, boss.

Harpo: [Honk! Honk!]

Meanwhile, back at the ranch …

The Gunslinger: Say, what in the wide wide world'a sports is a’goin’ on here?

Cowpoke: Nuthin’ boss. We’re just leanin’ on this here fence, keepin’ an eye out for rustlers an’ shoe bombers.

The Gunslinger: Wail, I hired you boys ta rustle me up some I-rackee dee-fecters, not ta toedance ‘round here like a bunch a Kansas City nancyboys. Now cowboy up! We gotta head ‘em off and get ‘em runnin’ an’ run ‘em down and head ‘em up move ‘em out!

Cowpoke: Right boss.

Harpo: [Honk!]


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